Rejected Snapple Facts

"Real Fact" #233 - Hulk Hogan can drink his weight in beef gravy.

"Real Fact" #124 - There is a polar bear right behind you.

"Real Fact" #104 - "The best stuff on Earth" includes acesulfame potassium.

Great.

I hadn't posted anything in a while, so I felt compelled.

Ty: Let me tell you a little story. I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting... just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?

Danny: No.

Ty: Take one good guess.

Danny: Bob Hope?

Ty: Ha ha... No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.

Now, don't get bent out of shape...

Why do people who believe that global warming is cause by human pollution typically reference sources like "a scientific concensus" or "the scientific academies of the major industrialized nations and other scientific organizations?"

Why not just give me the source. When did peer pressure become an accepted form of scientific discourse?

I'm not taking sides on this one, because I haven't ever seen the information. It's always just some shadowy anonymous analysis of the information by "top scientists."

I'm a relatively smart guy, I can handle it.

And another thing, why is anyone who presents the possibility that global warming is not our fault viewed as a heretic or worse? (Inquisition, anyone?)

Hey...come here for a minute.

Dude: You're Mormon, right?
Me: What?
Dude: Why are the lights on that temple next to I-495 on some times and not other times?
Me: Uh...I'm not Mormon.
Dude: Oh...There was a rumor going around that you're Mormon.
Me: Nope.

...hours later...

Dude: So what are you?
Me: What?
Dude: If you're not Mormon, what are you?
Me: Christian

The best part: he can tell that I'm different.
Now what?