Head vs. Heart

If you've ever asked me about how my job is going, you've probably witnessed me straining like crazy to withhold a stream of expletives that would make a sailor wince.

I don't care much for my job, which wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't forced to be there 52 hours a week plus the commute. (40 would be nice...36 would be nicer. This is the only time you'll ever hear me publicly envy the French.) Since I spend a great deal of time at work or going to work or coming home from work it leaves very little time for anything else.

I'm also in a band, (We're kind of a big deal...to about 20 people.) so all of my free time is spent playing music or writing music or listening to other people's music.

I love playing music. I love thinking about music. I love thinking about playing music. I want music to be my life's work. I want to create, not babysit a construction site.

So here's my problem...my job keeps me from pursuing my heart, and my head is keeping me tied to my job. So if you take out the middle man, my head, or my lack of faith in my ability to sustain myself playing music, is keeping me from pursuing the fulfillment of my heart. Thats not ok with me. That's not the man I want to be. I want reckless faith in my clear calling in life. I've been telling myself that if I just wait for the right time, the opportunity will present itself, but it's not going to.

Ok...I'm going to go kick my head into gear. Stupid head...get on board.