I kept picking topics that spoke to the situations in which I find myself most often, topics about the kind of man I want to be, topics about me. Every time I would listen and think to myself, "Oh, you picked a good one this time. This is exactly what I was looking to hear."
Then I ran out of obvious topics and picked a few that spoke to situations my friends were in so I could speak the word of God into their lives, and I'd say, "Oh, you picked a good one this time. This is exactly what they're looking to hear...I guess this kind of speaks to me too. Great, two for one!"
Then I ran out of obvious topics for my friends.
So I listened to some about things I felt I had under control to affirm myself in my Godliness. I got through the first one without noticing anything strange. It was a good word and I was glad to have bolstered my understanding in another area in my life. (There were a few pangs of conscience telling me to listen harder.) I listened to a second one that I thought had little bearing on where I stood with God at the moment and I started to notice a pattern.
Everything I was hearing had to do with me.
Every little word hit me dead center like an arrow to the heart. "If you love God, you'll show it by loving people!" "No one who is saved makes a practice of sinning!" "The righteous heart delights in the commands of God!" "God has ordained sin and evil to fulfill a purpose in my life!" etc. etc. etc.
These were all things that I knew...but these were all things that I didn't get.
Oh God, forgive me for my blindness.
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