So...I got hit by a car yesterday.

Or, more accurately, I got touched by a car yesterday.

I was even in a crosswalk (which is this little path that crosses the street wherein people are supposed to walk when the lighted sign on the far side of the street advises them that it's the appropriate time. There are signs and everything.)

I was standing at the corner of Woodmont and Elm in Bethesda carrying an entire tree's worth of paper in the form of a $1.5 million bill, (I do this every month) and I even waited for the signal to change. (Hailing from the great state of New Jersey, we're supposed to be faith walkers. We just step out into the street believing that the cars will stop.) I start crossing, and this lady in some sort of monstrous champaign-colored sedan starts creeping into the crosswalk, but she stops. I figured she'd noticed that the light was red, and it probably wasn't a great idea to hit the accelerator just yet. So I keep walking. I guess she didn't fully grasp the importance of the bright red lights dangling from the wire strung across the street and while I'm crossing in front of her car, she creeps up a little farther and pushes up against my leg as I'm trying to get out of the way. So now, I have my right foot planted and my left leg swinging forward, but my swing-leg can't get through the space between the car bumper and my plant leg...

so I did what any normal person would do in this situation: Spin move. Just to be cool, I didn't even look back at the lady.

(The New York metro area would be ashamed of me for not throwing my hefty stack o' papers right into the lady's windshield and slamming my fists into her hood while screaming, "Hey, I'm walkin' here!" while employing the thickest of possible accents.)